This week on the HERE.together Podcast we are releasing, in full, another of the episodes of the Remaking Manhood Podcast which I co-host and co-produce with Mark Greene. We schedule these cross-promoted episodes in part to give you access to content that we believe will inspire and inform you and this interview with Mark Winkler definitely meets that purpose.  This content re-purposing strategy also, frankly, saves a little energy for other projects like planting the fall garden and writing more blog posts about leadership and healthy masculinity.
​
I’m really proud of this RM episode because, we get interview an expert in drawing men and boys into healthy masculinity and into supportive relationships. Mark Winkler, co-founded Manhood Camp, a non-profit working with under-served youth and families in the Los Angeles region. And works with adult men through his fatherhood circles and through the FATHERHOOD CIRCLE BLOG. I think you’ll find Mark’s voice to be an important and compelling one… his approach mixes firm accountability with love and compassion.

Rate, Review, Connect

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Music Credits: Remaking Manhood theme music composed by Gus Greene. Click here for links to his music on most streaming services.  

Other Music: “Colorado-Slinkies” by trout recording

SHOW NOTES: 
Key Takeaways:

• When  calling men in to healthy or de-radicalized manhood, look for progress rather than perfection
• Progress in behavior is more important than progress in “articulated” change (i.e. actions speak louder than words).

Information, Background, and Projects:

• Mark’s Blog
• Manhood Camp for boys
• Article describing radicalized masculinity
• Gillette Ad - We Believe: The Best Men Can Be

Influencers and Writers

• The Will to Change - bell hooks
• Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys - Michael Thompson Ph.D. &, Dan Ph.D. Kindlon

 More about Mark Greene

• www.remakingmanhood.com
• Good Men Project
• Follow on Twitter @remakingmanhood

 More about Charles’s work 

• www.charlesmatheus.com
• Redefining Strength Facebook Group
• YouTube Channel (Includes 2 TEDx talks)

Other relevant HERE.together Episodes: 

• Re-defining Strength for the Challenges Ahead
• The Personal Impact of Men's Work

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• Remaking Manhood Book
• Little #Metoo Book for Men
• The Mask You Live In Documentary

Resources for Men’s Work

• Mankind Project
• Humen: The Men’s Mental Health Movement
• Rising Man 
• Evryman 
• Sacred Sons 
• Michael Meade - Mosiac Voices

Are you the kind of person who holds onto stress?  Who shoves it down day after day until it explodes in a glorious rain of expletives and recrimination.  Or maybe it just comes out a bit sideways and makes things uncomfortable with people you love. Either way, this episode might be just the thing to encourage you to let it all out, but in a healthier way.  Your intrepid HERE.together team learns how from our own experience and from the expertise of our guest, Tanya Keats, a coach who helps her clients cut through their personal obstacles, with the magic of action and adventure.  She also helps us navigate an on-air seismic burp. True to our typical form, we share what’s real and how we work through it.

Hello H.tties! Welcome to a volcanic episode that - spoiler alert - turns out ok in the end.  

What's Special About Our Guest:
Coach Keats works with all sorts of people on all sorts of issues, but the thread that runs through everything is helping others break out of whatever box they’ve found themselves in.  Tanya has her own experience with being boxed in and she didn’t like it one bit.  She’s spent her adult years creating a box-free life full of authenticity and adventure for herself and her clients. Today she is a Speaker, Integration Guide and Leadership coach who  guides her clients towards a free life, lived with ease.

Listen on as Coach Keats holds the space for Charles to have a mini meltdown - right in the middle of recording -  and then helps us process through it together.  We hope this impromptu coaching session will inspire you to make the time to express your full range of feelings before you’re stuck doing it at an inopportune time.

Rate, Review, Connect

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• Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
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Music Credits: 

• “Colorado-Slinkies” by trout recording
  
• “Everyone-Everywhere” by_Jayme_Stone

​

SHOW NOTES: 
Key Takeaways: 

• Pay attention to what gives you joy, that might be your genius.
• Balance Logic and Heart.
• Apply the “Five Whys Rule” to your emotions and needs. 

Do a Science:Make a list of at least five accomplishments or experiences that are counter-narratives your negative self-talk. For example is one of your “tapes” is ``I never get recognized,” list examples of when you did get recognized. ​

​More About Tanya Keats

• Website
• Contact - 480-937-0876
• Social Media Links
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • YouTube
• Conscious Capitalism of Arizona
  • Insight to Action Program

Other Similar Episodes: 

• Episode 60 - How to Get Coached w. Ken Kilday & Tom Check
• Episode 46 - How to Be Emotional w/ Charles and Kelly
• Episode 4 - Opening your Heart w/ Tony Himes

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• “Your Elusive Creative Genius”  - Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk
• How to Be An Adult - David Richo
• Nonviolent Communication
  • Feelings List
  • Needs List 
• Shirley Valentine on Amazon Prime Rental

​

Hello H.tties! We are re-releasing an episode with Adam Vellturo that we recorded way back in December 2019.

That episode was one of our most popular -  it was the first one to hit triple digit downloads. In it, Adam helps us  explore and understand nature therapy, deep ecology, the nature of the soul, and whether or not we're going to survive and thrive in the 21st century.

You know, fluffy stuff like that.

That’s how we roll on the HTP… inspiring, hopeful conversations with smart guests who can tackle the big topics.

Our pod-a-versery is coming up in a less than a month. We’re finishing our second full year of podcasting! And in recognition of that achievement AND all the support you h.tties have given us, we’re re-releasing this early episode. It’s a meaningful one to us and holds powerful, lovely memories.
​
In this episode, listen for Adam's prescription for easy soul work and a recitation of a Walt Whitman poem that are both perfect for the cooler, clearer nights ahead.

Rate, Review, Connect

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• Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
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Music Credits: 
“Colorado-Slinkies” by trout recording
“Everyone-Everywhere” by_Jayme_Stone

​

SHOW NOTES
Do a Science:

•  Go Look at the Stars: Every night for a week, go outside and look at the night sky. 

More About Adam: 
Adam Vellturo is a licensed clinical social worker in Arizona. Since 1989, he has been trained to help people of various backgrounds cope with a wide range of problems from everday stress to chronic mental health issues. Adam Vellturo has over 30-years of experience providing psychotherapy to individuals, couples and families. His practice focuses on adults and teens.

• Adam J. Vellturo Counseling Services​

Other relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 9 - Diving into the Heart of the Dragon with Molly McGinn 
• Episode 19 - Healing Others so We Can Heal with activist and educator Rowdy Duncan.

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• Books & Authors Mentioned
  • Ishmael - Daniel Quinn
  • Bill Plotkin - Important books on soul and ecopsychology
  • Joanna Macy - Environmental activist, author, and deep ecology.
  • Richard Louv - No Child Left in the Woods
• Programs that offer deep eco-therapy
  • Animas Valley Institute
  • School of Lost Borders

What if the things you loved to do the most turned out to be the most valuable in your career and your home?  What if tendencies that haven’t been recognized as strengths turned out to be the secret to your success?  What if we could all see and appreciate each other for our strengths and not worry so much about our weaknesses?

Guest Bio:
Micah Lorenc is a corporate management dropout turned leadership / relationship / team development coach. Based in Austin, Texas, Micah is a Gallup-Certified Clifton Strengths Coach and believer in the power of positive psychology. He has nearly a decade of facilitation experience, with an emphasis on strengths-based development workshops for teams, from start-ups to Fortune 500 companies.

Micah developed the ACRR coaching approach to ensure that all individuals and teams with whom he works will see lasting results.
Micah is a delight and he really helped us figure out some important things during this conversation.

AND it turns out that focusing on strengths is a lot like looking where you want to aim your car or your shot.  Stay tuned for a conversation overflowing with glass-half-full goodness, learn how to see your own strengths, appreciate what others bring to the table, and how to band together to accomplish anything.

​Other relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 70  How to Live Your Purpose with Rick Heyland
• Episode 69 How to Do the Right Thing II- the Un-Episode with Jeff Morrill

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• Derek Delgaudio’s “In & Of Itself” Trailer
• The Gottman Institute 
  • Article - The 6 Things That Predict Divorce
  • Article - The Four Horsemen that Damage Relationships
• Our budgeting and finance program - YNAB

Rate, Review, Connect

• www.podchaser.com/heretogether
• Email us at contact@rocketfeather.com
• Join the Community Lab at https://www.facebook.com/groups/rfcomlab
• Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
• Sign up to receive the weekly Connection Newsletter www.here-together.us/join

Music Credits:
 “Colorado-Slinkies” by trout recording
“Everyone-Everywhere” by Jayme Stone

​​​​​

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways: 

• Positive psychology is a focus on what we already do well 
• Everyone has a different constellation of strengths
• Sometimes we use our strengths in way that is immature or out-of-balance and they then appear as weaknesses

Do a Science:

• Take the Clifton Strengths Assessment
  • (Low cost alternative, take the free Colors or Meyers-Briggs assessment) 
• Pick five people you care about and share your top strengths with them. 
• See where the conversation goes and what stories emerge
• See what you learn about yourself. 

​
Guest and Episode Information:

• Micah’s info
  • Webpage
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • Clubhouse handle
• Kelly’s Strengths Report
• Charles’s Strengths Report​

Pick an Assessment
Gallup Strengths Assessment

• Background
• Take the Full Version
• Take the Short Version 

Myers Briggs Test

• About the Assessment
• Take the official version (paid)
• Take a free version - 16 Personalities

True Colors

• Free ​Assessment 

Dealing with depression and anxiety?  Who is winning, you or them?  What if you had a playbook full of healing, coping, and life-giving strategies at the ready?  Would you feel more supported, more hopeful?  

Guest Bio:
Zack S. Rutledge is an ACE Certified Personal Trainer, an ACE Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist, and a Certified Brain Health Trainer through the Functional Aging Institute. He has a black belt in karate, has practiced yoga for almost a decade, and has played in punk bands for years. He holds an MA from American University in Washington, D.C. and is currently pursuing a Clinical Psychology degree.

Zack is the author of The Official Depression Relief Playbook: Real-Life Strategies From a Guy Who Has Lived It.
He shares with us how depression and anxiety, triggered by grief, sent him spiraling downward as a young adult and how he created a playbook full of winning strategies to take on his mental health challenges from every angle. 

Stay tuned to find out how you can defeat your demons with Zack’s D-Day approach. Enjoy this uplifting, laughter-filled conversation and pick up a new perspective that might just change everything for the better.  

We do talk a little about the tough stuff of depression, - nothing graphic, but take care of yourself.  If you feel things come up for you, reach out and get help, whether that’s a friend, a professional counsellor, or a help line, like National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 
800-273-8255.

​Rate, Review, Connect
www.podchaser.com/heretogether

• Email us at contact@rocketfeather.com
• Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
• Sign up to receive the weekly Connection Newsletter www.here-together.us/join

Music Credits: 
​A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

​

SHOW NOTES:
Key Takeaways: 

• How to adapt to Covid and other life changes by listening to your gut
• How to tell the difference between grief and depression
• How to use the D-day approach to conquer depression

Do a Science:

•  Practice Box Breathing

 ​Zack’s Content 

• The Official Depression Relief Playbook​

Other relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 85 How to be a Victor, not a Victim with Fatima Oliver. 
• Episode 76 How to be 88% Happy with Dr. Marissa Pei 

Take a Deeper ​Dive on the Topic: 

•  Myers Briggs Test
  • About the Assessment
  • Take the official version (paid)
  • Take a free version - 16 Personalities
• Atul Gawande’s The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right

Wouldn’t it be ideal if we could take our full, relaxed, connected and authentic selves everywhere, including to work? Wouldn’t it be better if leaders of all kinds could lead from a place of mindfulness, self-awareness, and peaceful power? If Consciousness and Corporateness coexisted wouldn’t they create something new and revolutionary? 

Guest Bio:
Our guest today is Neil Seligman.  He was a trial lawyer - or Barrister -  in England for 8 years, but his interest in Consciousness and meditation pre-dated his law career. It wasn’t until he ditched the day job and spent several years exploring his inner and outer worlds that he saw how to connect mindfulness practice with corporate life and productivity.
  
Now Neil trains and coaches professionals in a wide variety of “conscious skills,” and speaks at prestigious corporate events and seminars around the world, from Europe to America, Asia, and Australia. Having immersed himself in  mindfulness since his teens, Neil combines his authentic passion for the practice with unrivalled professional expertise in his pioneering business, Conscious Corporate Consultancies. His insight and compelling enthusiasm leave his audiences inspired, energized and armed with practical ways to reach their highest potential.

We are so pleased to bring you our conversation with the calm, grounded, and utterly delightful Neil Seligman.  If you don’t relate to the corporate angle, don’t worry - there is a ton in our talk that relates to personal growth and using mindfulness to make pretty much everything more joyful and functional.  

​Rate, Review, Connect
www.podchaser.com/heretogether
Email us at contact@rocketfeather.com
Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
Sign up to receive the weekly Connection Newsletter www.here-together.us/join

Music Credits: A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill​

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways: 

•  We can open and close
• Mindfullness can lead to increased stress resilience/decreased stress reactivity

Do a Science:

•  Daily FHB Meditation
  • Feet on the Floor
  • Hands on the Heart
  • Body on Breathing​​

More About Neil:

• Public Website
• The Conscious Professional Website
• Zen in Ten program
• Neil’s Books
  • 100 Mindfulness Meditations: The Ultimate Collection of Inspiring Daily Practices
  • Conscious Leadership. Reveal your potential. Inspire excellence
• Neil’s Art
  • Soul Portrait Photography

Neil’s Social Media Resources

• Group 
• Facebook The Conscious Professional
• Twitter Neil Seliman
• LinkedIn Neil Seligman
• YouTube ConsciousProTV​ ​

Other relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 55, How Not to Know with Pete Pierson - using a mindfulness practice to inform social action and advocacy
• Episode 78 How to Build Soulful Power - Breathing, laughing and learning with Christian de la Huerta

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• Dance and Movement
  • Gabrielle Roth’s Five Rhythms Movement Practice 
  • Biography of Anna Helprin 
• Other Topics
  • Matthew Fox
    
  • Byron Katie Loving What Is Video

"Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me"

If you’re our generation, you probably danced to Salt ‘n’ Pepa at a teen club or when you sneaked into a bar with a fake ID.  It was all super-hot back then, but how about now?  Have you lost your mojo?  Is sex, intimacy, and connection on the back burner or worse, a distant memory?  Well, it doesn’t have to be. In fact, today’s guest makes shared pleasure, a richer relationship, and a fuller life seem not just possible, but totally worth the effort. 

We’re your hosts Charles Matheus and Kelly Roberge.  We are insatiably interested in the intersection of personal growth, healthy relationships, and vibrant communities.
 
Welcome to the HERE.together Podcast where we go deeper than the typical podcast on topics that really matter. We ask questions no one else asks, we share true stories about ourselves that few other hosts tell, and we walk into the material we cover with vulnerability and honesty. 

Guest Bio:
Our guest this episode is Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions. She teaches people how to achieve ageless passion and unlock the secrets to life-long vitality.   She is the best-selling author and publisher of 34 books and programs including “Sexual Soulmates'' and “Relationship Magic.”

She is co-founder and CEO of two corporations: Personal Life Media, Inc., a publisher of heart-connected lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and The20, LLC., a manufacturer of organic and botanical supplements that enhance sexual vitality. 

A best-selling author and publisher of 34 books and programs including Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him, Steamy Sex Ed™, The Passion Patch, Hormone Balancing, and Hot To Trot. 

Susan has been featured in the New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY show as well as frequent appearances on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox and NBC.

​Susan’s core expertise lies in the intersection between passionate lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills. She has studied extensively what makes intimacy truly passionate, surrendered, and connected, and she boils those skills down to simple practices anyone can use to achieve profoundly pleasurable results.

What's Different About This Episode: 
We normally get to know our guests on a pretty deep level, but this week, Susan Bratton really got to know us.  We open up about our own sexual histories and our current sex-life (or lack thereof).  We show up as fully transparent and vulnerable, as always, as Susan helps us work through our fears, hesitations, and desires so that we can re-invest our relationship with closeness, caring, and communion.  
So keep listening for an honest, revealing, healing conversation about how to make sex great at any age.

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways: 

• Learn the Four Kinds of Touch
• Why Sex is Worth the Trouble
• How Great Sex and Meaningful Intimacy is a Learned Skill
• Good Sex Takes Practice

Do a Science:

•  Practice the Sexual Soulmate Embrace with your partner at least once this week. 
• AND/OR download and read the Sexual Soulmate Pact with your partner

Episode References:

• Susan’s Websites
  • Professional Portal
  • Be a Better Lover Resources and Programs 
• Susan’s Social Media
  • Facebook  
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
• Susan’s Online Resources
  • https://sexualsoulmatepact.com
  • https://magicpillmethod.com/
  • www.7positions.com
  • Susan’s YouTube Channel 

Other relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 74 How to Make Your Relationship Happy with relationship journalist Claire Vande Polder
• Episode 73 How to Make Your Relationship Exceptional with Jachym Jerie and Natasha Koo
• Episode 46 How To Be Emotional with Kelly and Charles

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

•  Brad Blanton Radical Honesty

​Rate, Review, Connect
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How do you keep going through the darkest nights of the soul? How do you take the worst things that happened to you and turn them into fuel for good?  How do you shift from victim to victor?  ​

Guest Bio:
Fatima Oliver is devoted to helping others become their best selves.  She is a survivor of the kinds of trauma, abuse, and personal tragedy that would break most people, but she found a way to keep going, heal, and thrive. Now she wants to reach back and help others find their way out.  
Fatima has an MBA and the financial knowledge and skills to go with it.  She’s written a memoir sharing her story titled, "The Prescription is in the Dirt."  If that’s not enough interesting bio to intrigue you, she also toured as a backup singer with the Righteous Brothers for 4 years.  

Listen to the whole episode for a deeply meaningful conversation about surviving and thriving, finding our voices, and paying it forward with the multi-talented badass boss, Fatima Oliver.

Rate, Review, Connect
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Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
Sign up to receive the weekly Connection Newsletter www.here-together.us/join

Music Credits: A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES: 
Fatima’s Key Takeaways for the Soul Healing Journey: 

•  Have a safe place to fall - an engaged support group who wants the best for you
• Avoid the victim mindset 
  • Make a commitment to reach out for help and move on 
• It’s OK to not be OK - it’s not OK to stay that way
• Turn your pain into purpose

Do a Science:

• Imagine you most wonderful day.
• What are three things that you would do on that wonderful day.
• Incorporate at least two of those things per day. 

 Episode References:

• Connect with Fatima
  • Website
  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram
  • Facebook 
• The Prescription is in the Dirt

Other relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 42 How To Turn Setback Into Success with Melanie Banayat.
• Episode 76 How to be 88% Happy with Dr. Marissa Pei. 

 

This week on the HERE.together Podcast - in belated recognition of Father’s Day - we are releasing, in full, another of the episodes of the Remaking Manhood Podcast which I co-host and co-produce with Mark Greene. In this episode, we interview Kevin Shafer,  an associate professor of Sociology at Brigham Young University, who is conducting ongoing research around the surprising impact of engaged fathers and how that engagement later shows up in the adult lives of their sons. Hint: It's really good news for gender equity.

In this episode, Kevin explains his research and connects it to both his own fathering and fatherhood.  Despite how complex the parent child relationship is, Kevin is able to provide some really basic and actionable tips for how to raise kids who can grow up authentically, and resist the boxes that domination culture wants to shove them into. 
At the end of this episode, Mark and I tell some stories about our own connections to our dad’s and what kind of “protective factors” they gave us. 
I hope you get a lot out of this conversation. We’d love to hear from you about your understanding of engaged fatherhood. Who helped you become who you are? What hopes do you have for fathers and children today? What can we do as a culture and a nation to support engaged parenting? 

Guest Bio:
Kevin studies father involvement and mental health in Canada and the United States.
He is an associate professor in the Department of Sociology at Brigham Young University and an adjunct associate professor in the Department of Health, Aging, & Society at McMaster University.
His work focuses on the facilitators of and barriers to father involvement with children–with a strong emphasis on the effects of paternal mental health and masculine norm adherence. He is currently working on a book about similarities and differences between Canadian and US fathers (forthcoming at University of Toronto Press).
Currently, his research is being integrated into federally-funded intervention programs addressing fathering among low-income and minority fathers in the Western United States. He is the past chair of the Men in Families Focus Group for the National Council on Family Relations, currently serving as an Associate Editor for the journal Social Work Research, and he is the co-coordinator of the Sociology of Families, Work, & Care cluster in the Canadian Sociological Association.
At BYU, he serves as a research mentor to over 40 students, producing more than 35 student authored presentations, and more than 30 presentations at national conferences. He currently teaches introductory sociology courses and advanced courses on family and research.
On a personal level, Kevin lives with his wife and four children in Utah County. He is an avid sports fan.

​Rate, Review, Connect

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​

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways: 

• Engaged Fathers make a difference in how able their boys are to avoid being trapped in the Manbox.
• Dads whose masculinity is less rigid or extreme raise kids who are  more open to equity and social justice. 
• Being an engaged father is as simple as being present for a child. 
• Engaged fathering can be performed by moms, stepdads, mentors, etc. 

 
Background References:

• More about Kevin Shafer
  • Kevin’s Personal Website
  • Kevin’s Research

Recommended Father’s Groups and Resources

• City Dads Group
• The Urban Dads on Facebook 
• National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse
• Fatherhood Research and Practice Network

 More about Mark Greene’s Work 

• www.remakingmanhood.com
• Good Men Project
• Follow on Twitter @remakingmanhood

 More about Charles’s Work 

• www.charlesmatheus.com
• Redefining Strength Facebook Group
• YouTube Channel (Includes 2 TEDx talks)

Other relevant HERE.together Episodes: 

• Re-defining Strength for the Challenges Ahead
• The Personal Impact of Men's Work

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• Remaking Manhood Book
• Little #Metoo Book for Men
• The Mask You Live In Documentary

Resources for Men’s Work

• Mankind Project
• Humen: The Men’s Mental Health Movement
• Rising Man 
• Evryman 
• Sacred Sons 
• Michael Meade - Mosiac Voices

​Music Credits: Theme music composed by Gus Greene. Click here for links to his music on most streaming services.  ​

SHOW NOTES: 
​​Key Takeaways: Bolster your confidence by

• You can gain confidence by taking action! 
• Focus on the (small) wins
• Use “I” language when you accomplish something (e.g. “I organized that event.  I led that program.”)

Do a Science:

• The Rejection Challenge - get rejected at least once every day. Ask for something that you don’t think you’ll get. Do things you wouldn’t normally do.  
• Post your rejections on Instagram and tag us at #heretogetherpodcast

Episode References:

• Check out Kate’s Website 
• Book a get acquainted call with Kate
• Follow Kate on social media
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn

Other relevant Episodes: 

• Episode 42 How to Turn Setbacks into Success with serial entrepreneur Melanie Banayat
• Episode 60, How to Get Coached with Ken Kilday and Tom Check.
• Episode 70, How to Live Your Purpose with Rick Heyland. 

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• Go for No Website
  
• Go for No Book ​