How to Make Your Relationship Happy

Use 1000 Years of Relationship Wisdom

When was the last time you asked a family member for the secrets to their successful relationship?  Do you talk about what makes a happy marriage with your friends over dinner?  If you don’t have these conversations and access to the wisdom of people who have “figured it out,” then we have the resource for you.  It’s relationship Month here at HERE.together and our guest has 1000 years of relationship wisdom cued up for YOU.

Guest Bio:
​Our guest this week is Claire Vande Polder, a journalist and producer - Claire has spent a career in the nonfiction world as a television producer and writer. She began at National Geographic Television in Washington, DC. After traveling the world, she joined the Discovery Health Channel as an executive producer. Since then she has worked independently with a variety of networks and production companies including TLC, Investigation Discovery, Smithsonian Channel, HGTV, Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo Studios, and others. She has a B.A. in English from Calvin College and an M.A. in 19 th Century English and American Literature from King’s College London.

Claire probably produced or wrote projects you’ve seen!!  So cool.  

Last year, Claire went down the rabbit hole on the question of what makes for a happy marriage.  She interviewed couples from all over the world, all ages and stages and stations in life - adding up to a THOUSAND years of marriage - to get some pearls of wisdom we can all learn from. Her book Making Marriage Happy: Hard-Won Wisdom from Real Couples is an accessible delight that breaks these successful strategies and behaviors down by subject area and into bite-sized nuggets that are easy to try on. 

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Music Credits: A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES
​Key Takeaways: 

• Relationships don’t have to be perfect to be happy
• Communication is key to staying close and in sync
• Forgiveness and understanding go a long way
• Self-awareness and empathy help prevent falling into “that same old argument.”

Do a Science:

• Pick an issue or problem that you’d like some help with
• Interview three people 
  • Ask them for 15 minutes of their time 
  • Ask questions only - avoid telling your story or engaging in discussion

If you’re alive, you have a story, and what you’ve lived through has given you wisdom. We all have it. And who knows? What you’ve learned might help somebody else, so why not share?  - Claire V-P​

Episode References:

• Claire’s book: Making Marriage Happy 
• Claire’s website

Other relevant HERE.together Episodes: 

• Episode 17 More Blood with husband/wife horror film makers Andrew & Angie Johnson Schmidt
• Episode 20 A Relationship Quickie with US!
• Also check out our“Make Your Relationship Great” blog series

Dive Deeper on the Topic: 

• Where Should We Begin? A podcast with Esther Pere‪l‬.  An incomparable therapist counsels real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of their conflicts 
• How to Make Your Relationship Great - Articles from the HERE.together hosts.  
• Harville and Helen Hendrix - Relationship Therapists
• Charles and Kelly’s Favorite Relationship Books
  • How to Be an Adult in Relationships - David Richo
  • Loving Each Other - Leo Buscaglia
  • The Five Love Languages -  Gary Chapman
  • The Power of Unconditional Love - Ken Keyes, Jr. ​