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The Personal Impact of Men's Work

5/31/2021

A Remaking Manhood Episode with Boysen Hodgson

For generations, our culture has taught us a narrow and limiting set of rules for how to be a man. The end result? Epidemic levels of isolation for boys and men and embedded repression and violence for the vast majority of women and children. As a boy and young man, I learned that same set of rules and I adopted that stoic, suppressed, and sometimes emotionally violent version of manhood. It took me years to find a way back to the real authentic version of myself that is open, loving, curious, vulnerable, bold, and creative.
What if there were ways… paths… programs… groups… a movement, that helped men break out of the Man Box, find their authentic selves, and become happier, less destructive, and more constructive? This episode is about just those paths, those groups and that movement.

This week on the HERE.together Podcast we are releasing, in full, another of the early episodes of the Remaking Manhood Podcast which I co-host and co-produce with Mark Greene. In this episode, we interview Boysen Hodgson, the Communications Director for the ManKind Project USA. For the last 35 years, ManKind Project has been providing intensive weekend retreats and long-term peer support groups for men all over the world.

In this conversation, Boysen quickly sets the bar for vulnerability, insight, and truth. Mark and I also end up sharing our deep backstories about how we created our old, mistaken assumptions about ourselves and the world. Mark explains how those old bad stories cause many men to either self-sabotage or lash out.

All three of us men share our experience with the work it took us to become a man of connection, accountability and purpose. For all of us, men's work is an ongoing process and one that constantly reveals new ways of seeing and being. Boysen's own knowledge of men's work, both as a leader and as a man is a powerful resource for all the men in our community. I end up surprised by a couple of new ideas that come from the conversation and by some insight that comes bubbling up out of me at Boyson’s invitation.

I’m really pleased, and a little nervous to share this episode with you, but here we go.

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Email
Charles at charles@charlesmatheus.com
Mark at mark@remakingmanhood.com
Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
Sign up to receive the weekly Connection Newsletter www.here-together.us/join

How to successfully become a traitor to all those things you took on as oaths when you were a little boy -- there's the path to men's work.

Resources for Men’s Work

Mankind Project
Humen: The Men’s Mental Health Movement
Rising Man
Evryman
Sacred Sons
Michael Meade - Mosiac Voices
More Remaking Manhood: The Healthy Masculinity Podcast

Background References:

More about Boysen Hodson & Mankind Project
- Boyson’s Personal Website
- The New Macho – a Credo for the Mature Masculine
- Mankind Project

More about Mark Greene’s work & writing
- www.remakingmanhood.com
- Good Men Project
- Follow on Twitter @remakingmanhood

More about Charles’s work
- www.charlesmatheus.com
- Redefining Strength Facebook Group
- YouTube Channel (Includes 2 TEDx talks)

Other relevant HERE.together Episodes:

Re-defining Strength for the Challenges Ahead

Dive Deeper on the Topic:

Remaking Manhood Book
Little #Metoo Book for Men
The Mask You Live In Documentary
The Hero with a Thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine - Robert Moore & Doug Gillette

Music Credits: Theme music composed by Gus Greene. Click here for links to his music on most streaming services.

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How to Be the Solution

5/24/2021

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Asking Questions and Taking Responsibility with Angel Ribo

Who cares about big business when you’re just trying to get your small business off the ground? What do CEOs have to do with running a successful family?
If you just re-watched Wall Street or read the news and need to feel hopeful about business and the world, this is the episode for you.

Welcome to Part IV of our Spiritual Warrior series.

Guest Bio:
Angel Ribo is a contender for the most energized, positive guest award. We are so excited to introduce you to this glowing, powerful man who has been coach and confidante to hundreds of corporate officers around the world, [we’re talking 15 hundred CEOs in 33 countries] who brings heart and spirit into the business world, who focuses on the quality of relationships at all levels, in order to help his clients improve not just their bottom line, but their impact.
And HIS impact doesn’t stop there. Angel is bringing his business acumen to the service of underprivileged kids in Latin America, teaching and mentoring them to become entrepreneurs using the resources they have on hand. So far he’s worked with over a thousand young people and you’ll hear that compelling, fascinating story in part II of this episode. Stay all the way until the end, as well, though, to get this weeks simple but really deeply challenging personal science assignment.

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Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
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Music Credits:
A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways:

Take imperfect action now
Bring the whole self to leadership

“With everything that has happened, the leaders who are coming up and the leaders who are emerging, are going to be much more mindful about the human side of their employees.”

Do a Science:

When making a tough decision or facing an intractable problem, ask yourself:
- “Why not?”
- “How can I be the solution?” OR “If not me, then who?”

More About our Guest:

Angel’s Websites
- The CEO Confidant - Divine Human Ventures
- Wisdom for Kids
Angel’s Social Media Feeds
- LinkedIn
- Twitter
- Facebook
- YouTube
- Instagram

The Spiritual Warrior Series

Ep 76 How to Be 88% Happy with Dr. Marissa Pei
Ep 77 How to Live for Social Justice with the Rev. Dr. Marcia Ledford, esq.
Ep 78 How to Build Soulful Power with Christian de la Huerta

Spiritual Warrior Resources:

Kelly’s Recommendations
- Untamed - Glennon Doyle
- Welcoming the Unwelcome – Pema Chodron
- The Book of Joy – Dalai Lama & Desmond Tutu
- Pronoia: The Antidote For Paranoia - Rob Brezsny
Charles’s recommendations
- Non-fiction Books
  - Nature and the Human Soul - Bill Plotkin
  - King, Warrior, Magician, Lover - Robert Moore, Doug Gillette
  - Refuge - Terry Tempest Williams
  - Dare to Lead - Brene Brown
- Fiction Books
  - Animal Dreams - Barbara Kingsolver
  - The Fifth Sacred Thing - Starhawk
  - Ishmael - Daniel Quinn

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How to Build Soulful Power

5/17/2021

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Breathing, laughing and learning with Christian de la Huerta

Is your ego running your show? Are you making choices guided by fear? What would it be like to put your purpose and soul in charge? How would your life be different if you did?

Spoiler alert: you’d have more freedom, more real power, and you’d be able to join with others to create the sustainable world we need...

It’s all hands on DECK time.

Guest Bio:
Our guest this week is Christian de la Huerta, a spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach, and leading voice in the soulful breathwork community. Not only is Christian one of the warmest, loveliest humans we’ve had the privilege to speak with so far, he is a kindred spirit who challenged us to think bigger. Sooo much bigger.

When there isn’t a pandemic on, Christian travels the world, leading inspiring and transformational retreats and treks that combine psychological and spiritual teachings with lasting and life-changing effects. He’s recently published the book, Awakening the Soul of Power, [described by multiple Grammy Award–winner Gloria Estefan as “a balm for the soul of anyone searching for truth and answers to life’s difficult questions.”]

Christian talks with us about the Hero’s Journey, giving our egos the right job, why connecting with our personal power is a good thing, and presents us with multiple paths to that authentic power.
Stick around for an enriching conversation that takes us - and you - from the metaphorical stadium out into the cosmos. It’s full of practical ideas for real life and big, inspiring visions that definitely left us feeling well-fed, body and soul.

Fair warning… we start the interview with about a four-minute breathing exercise/guided meditation. We hope everyone listening will breathe along with us. If you’re driving or operating equipment right now, or doing something else that requires your attention, perhaps return to this episode when you can do so safely and comfortably.

Rate, Review, Connect
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Email us at contact@rocketfeather.com
Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
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Music Credits:
A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways:

The hero is within all of us
We don’t need to be limited by our pasts
Our egos tend to get in the way of our heroic soul
There are multiple paths to putting the ego in its correct, healthy place.

Do a Science:

Print out the feelings chart (Click on image below.)
Set your phone to go off several times a day
Each time you receive a reminder, check in with yourself and ask “What am I feeling right now?”
Use the chart to steadily refine your answer to more specific emotions
Also, take a breath.

In-Episode References:

More about Christian de la Huerta
Links to what we talked about during the podcast
- Dare to Lead - Brene Brown
- Charles’s TEDx talk
- Women Are Better Leaders During a Crisis - HBR Article
- Illusions - Richard Bach

Other relevant Episodes: the Spiritual Warrior Series

Episode 76 How to Be 88% Happy with Dr. Marissa Pei
Episode 77 How to Live for Social Justice with the Rev. Dr. Marcia Ledford, esq.
Deconstructing Man Box Culture - Remaking Manhood Podcast

Dive Deeper on the Topic:

Pronoia Is The Antidote For Paranoia - Rob Brezsny
The Hero with 1000 Faces - Joseph Campbell

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How to Live for Justice

5/9/2021

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A Vision for Engaged, Spiritual Activism

A photographer, a Civil Rights Lawyer, and an Episcopal Priest walk into a bar…
This week’s show is no joke, though. Our guest, the Reverend Dr. Marcia Ledford, Esquire IS a Civil Rights lawyer, a photographer, and an Episcopal Priest. Stay tuned for a great conversation that encompasses journeys both personal and cultural, the third rails of politics and religion, and where all those things come together in Dr. Marcia’s ongoing work for social justice.

Neither one of your podcasts hosts grew up in a regular religious tradition. And we are wary of the dark power that organized religion can wield to oppress and repress. Even the Buddhists in Myanmar are killing people in the name of. But we can’t deny that the US Civil Rights movement was championed by religious leaders. Nor that “church ladies” in Georgia helped swing the US Senate. Nor that a Jesuit priest, Father Boyle, created Homeboy Industries in LA to help young community members de-escalate violence and develop alternatives to gang life. So… we are really excited to have the Rev. Dr. Marcia Ledford present the case for a progressive and engaged Christianity. We hope you listeners are, too.

Guest Bio:
The Rev. Dr. Marcia Ledford - a full name which we love saying over and over - is an expert on helping people find ways to work for justice.
She is a civil rights attorney who has represented society’s most marginalized. Her ministry is in Southwest Detroit’s Latinx population—an international port with an aggressive regional ICE director.

An Episcopal priest, Dr. Ledford holds a Master of Divinity from the Church Divinity School of the Pacific. She earned her Doctor of
Ministry in political theology from Pacific School of Religion.

Dr. Ledford founded Political Theology Matters, LLC, to help the people develop a personal mission grounded in theology for greater social justice. Marcia teaches, speaks, and preaches about political theology in varied forums and maintains a very intriguing blog.

She also happens to be a writer and photographer. We got so caught up in talking about Civil Rights and personal growth that we didn’t get around to talking about creativity, but we have links in the show notes for you to check out her amazing blog that’s full of resources for activism and education on social justice.

Rate, Review, Connect
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Email us at contact@rocketfeather.com
Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
Sign up to receive the weekly Connection Newsletter www.here-together.us/join

Music Credits: A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways:

Action takes place through deep introspection AND then engagement with others.
Religion has had (and still has) a role in perpetuating racism, misogyny, homophobia, and inequity.
Progressive spirituality and religion have a role to play in creating justice and equity.

Do a Science:

Go to www.politicaltheologymatter.com Click on the “Learn More” button to download 1-sheet that describes 6 easy ways to be an advocate for social justice right now.
PIck one or two of the suggestions and complete them over the course of a week.
Tune into our Facebook Live broadcast on Saturday morning to report in.

Episode References

About Rev. Dr. Marcia Ledford
- Her website: Political Theology Matters
- Social Media
  - LinkedIn: @politicaltheologymatters
  - Facebook: @politicaltheologymatters
  - Twitter: @DocLedford
  - Instagram: @docledford

Related Episodes

Episode 44: How to Be Authentic and Whole with co-pastors Kate and Colby Martin
Episode 49: How to Get Off the Couch - Two Local Activists with Rosy Dixson and Ren Manning

Dive Deeper on the Topic:

The Second Great Awakening
The Second Coming - by W.B. Yeats (Charles mis-atributed the poem to W.H. Auden.)
White Fragility - Robin DiAngelo, Michael Eric Dyson
The Black Christ - Kelly Brown Douglas
The Spirituality of Resistance - Roger Gottlieb

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How to be 88% Happy

5/2/2021

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With Special Guest Dr. Marissa Pei

How happy would you say you are on average these days, dear H.ttie?
50 Percent?

62 Percent?

If you want to try out some ideas and actions to push your average happiness up to 88%, we have the conversation for you.

Our guest this week is Dr. Marissa Pei. She’s been through the shit and she’s here to tell you that you CAN be happy - at least 88% of the time.

Dr. Marissa, as we call her, or the Asian Oprah as Dr. Bernard Beckwith of Secret fame called her - to Oprah’s face - has a Ph.D in organizational psychology. Dr. Marissa literally wrote the book on Organization Development & Consulting with Dr. Fred Massarik and her consulting work has helped hundreds of Fortune 500 companies become more inclusive and successful. Now her focus is on “splattering more hope and happiness" through speaking, writing, and promoting a variety of Life Balance Topics including How to be Happy 88 percent of the Time. Dr. Marissa’s popular syndicated talk radio show “Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It” is broadcast nationwide on I Heart Radio AND has reached well over ½ a million downloads on ITunes and YouTube.

Dr. Marissa wrote the bestselling book, 8 Ways to Happiness from Wherever You Are, as well as Mommy, What Are Feelings? an interactive children’s book illustrated by her daughters, which has been recognized for helping autistic children express their feelings.
Dr. Marissa is clearly a woman of “plugged in” intelligence. She zeroed in on Charles’s issues right from the start and put him through an unscheduled mini session that was both helpful and surprising.

Because we can’t not, we also venture beyond the personal growth arena to talk about and push back against the wave of anti-Asian violence we’ve been seeing in the US. Dr. Marissa’s early life was marked by intolerance and she has some choice words for and key ideas about the racism bubbling up in our communities.

So listen on to get energized, inspired, empowered and 88% happy with the fabulous Dr. Marissa Pei.

Rate, Review, Connect
www.podchaser.com/heretogether
Email us at contact@rocketfeather.com
Leave a voicemail at anchor.fm/heretogether
Sign up to receive the weekly Connection Newsletter www.here-together.us/join

Music Credits: A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways:

Pain is mandatory - Suffering is optional

Do a Science:

JOIN Dr. Marissa’s 21 Day Fast from Complaining
- Signing up involves putting a $21 charge on your credit card
- Commit to refraining from complaining for 21 days
- If you complete the challenge, you’ll get a $42 reward
- If you don’t, the $21 goes to Dr. Marissa’s nonprofit

In - Episode References:

Find and interact with Dr. Marissa
- Her website
- YouTube Channel
- Nonprofit organization: 8 Ways to Happiness 501(c) helps children, teens and young adults who may have temporarily forgotten their birthright to happiness with free programs and books about feelings and happiness.
- Her Books
  - 8 Ways to Happiness
  - Mommy, What are Feelings?
#asianoprahgiveaway

Other relevant Episodes:

Other relevant Content:

The Secret
Don Miguel Ruiz
Jane Elliot -
- Blue Eyes Brown Eyes
- A Class Divided
The Thirteenth

Dive Deeper Into Asian American History and Current Events:

https://asianpacificheritage.gov/
https://www.nbcnews.com/specials/aapi-gen-z-to-greatest-generation-on-racism-standing-up/index.html?icid=recommended

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