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How to Be an Awesome Dad

6/28/2021

A Conversation about Engaged Fatherhood and Social Change

This week on the HERE.together Podcast - in belated recognition of Father’s Day - we are releasing, in full, another of the episodes of the Remaking Manhood Podcast which I co-host and co-produce with Mark Greene. In this episode, we interview Kevin Shafer, an associate professor of Sociology at Brigham Young University, who is conducting ongoing research around the surprising impact of engaged fathers and how that engagement later shows up in the adult lives of their sons. Hint: It's really good news for gender equity.

In this episode, Kevin explains his research and connects it to both his own fathering and fatherhood. Despite how complex the parent child relationship is, Kevin is able to provide some really basic and actionable tips for how to raise kids who can grow up authentically, and resist the boxes that domination culture wants to shove them into.
At the end of this episode, Mark and I tell some stories about our own connections to our dad’s and what kind of “protective factors” they gave us.
I hope you get a lot out of this conversation. We’d love to hear from you about your understanding of engaged fatherhood. Who helped you become who you are? What hopes do you have for fathers and children today? What can we do as a culture and a nation to support engaged parenting?

Guest Bio:
Kevin studies father involvement and mental health in Canada and the United States.
He is an associate professor in the Department of Sociology at Brigham Young University and an adjunct associate professor in the Department of Health, Aging, & Society at McMaster University.
His work focuses on the facilitators of and barriers to father involvement with children–with a strong emphasis on the effects of paternal mental health and masculine norm adherence. He is currently working on a book about similarities and differences between Canadian and US fathers (forthcoming at University of Toronto Press).
Currently, his research is being integrated into federally-funded intervention programs addressing fathering among low-income and minority fathers in the Western United States. He is the past chair of the Men in Families Focus Group for the National Council on Family Relations, currently serving as an Associate Editor for the journal Social Work Research, and he is the co-coordinator of the Sociology of Families, Work, & Care cluster in the Canadian Sociological Association.
At BYU, he serves as a research mentor to over 40 students, producing more than 35 student authored presentations, and more than 30 presentations at national conferences. He currently teaches introductory sociology courses and advanced courses on family and research.
On a personal level, Kevin lives with his wife and four children in Utah County. He is an avid sports fan.

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SHOW NOTES
Key Takeaways:

Engaged Fathers make a difference in how able their boys are to avoid being trapped in the Manbox.
Dads whose masculinity is less rigid or extreme raise kids who are more open to equity and social justice.
Being an engaged father is as simple as being present for a child.
Engaged fathering can be performed by moms, stepdads, mentors, etc.

Background References:

More about Kevin Shafer
- Kevin’s Personal Website
- Kevin’s Research

Recommended Father’s Groups and Resources

City Dads Group
The Urban Dads on Facebook
National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse
Fatherhood Research and Practice Network

More about Mark Greene’s Work

www.remakingmanhood.com
Good Men Project
Follow on Twitter @remakingmanhood

More about Charles’s Work

www.charlesmatheus.com
Redefining Strength Facebook Group
YouTube Channel (Includes 2 TEDx talks)

Other relevant HERE.together Episodes:

Re-defining Strength for the Challenges Ahead
The Personal Impact of Men's Work

Dive Deeper on the Topic:

Resources for Men’s Work

Music Credits: Theme music composed by Gus Greene. Click here for links to his music on most streaming services.

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How to Shatter Glass

6/20/2021

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An Energizing Conversation with Women's Executive Coach Kate Hutson

What if you had the confidence and boldness to ask for what you want, go for the promotion, choose to change lanes, or live your way into your biggest goals?

Our guest today coaches women in conquering their fear, creating productive habits, and building the roadmaps that take them in the direction they want to go. She reminds us that we will never feel ready and that taking action will lead to confidence, rather than the other way around.

Guest Bio:
Kate Hutson is an Executive Life Coach, Public Speaker, and the owner of Shattered Glass Coaching. After years of passionate work as a business leader, teacher, coach, and mentor, Kate turned her passion for mentoring others into practical knowledge for the real world-- skills that women can use in their everyday lives to help them gain confidence, develop leadership skills, and achieve their wildest dreams. After becoming a Certified Life Coach in 2020, Kate now coaches executive women to become courageous leaders in their workplaces and their personal lives.

Kate’s market niche may be female executives, this episode has some wisdom and energy for everyone! I dare any of you H.tties to listen and NOT get inspired and empowered. I dare you. !

Listen in for a real conversation about what women face in the workplace and how they can walk confidently toward their goals. Get your high fives and fist pumps ready - you’re going to need them.

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Music Credits:
A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES:
Key Takeaways: Bolster your confidence by

You can gain confidence by taking action!
Focus on the (small) wins
Use “I” language when you accomplish something (e.g. “I organized that event. I led that program.”)

Do a Science:

The Rejection Challenge - get rejected at least once every day. Ask for something that you don’t think you’ll get. Do things you wouldn’t normally do.
Post your rejections on Instagram and tag us at #heretogetherpodcast

My vision is women supporting women. One of my mantras is, I’m going to support you, you’re going to support the other women and men around you. We’re going to be a community that helps each other, rather than clawing our way to the top.

Episode References:

Check out Kate’s Website
Book a get acquainted call with Kate
Follow Kate on social media

Other relevant Episodes:

Episode 42 How to Turn Setbacks into Success with serial entrepreneur Melanie Banayat
Episode 60, How to Get Coached with Ken Kilday and Tom Check.
Episode 70, How to Live Your Purpose with Rick Heyland.

Dive Deeper on the Topic:

Go for No Website
Go for No Book

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How to Talk Feminism with Men

6/14/2021

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A Conversation in which Charles outs himself

How many Feminist men do you know? You know what they say in cosmology - there’s either zero, one, or infinity of something! And given that there's one feminist man on our podcast team, what does that mean?

Our guest today had a hard time finding a Feminist man in her dating life, so long story short, she created a website where men identifying as Feminists can share, connect, and get inspired to take action. So far she’s identified at least 33 Feminist men, which guarantees there are more to discover.

Guest Bio:
Maria Orihuela is a multi-national, multi-lingual dynamo who started out in communications and advertising, but shifted gears when she realized she wanted more meaning and purpose in her work life. She lives in London and now works as a Corporate Trainer, Coach and Facilitator.
Maria’s passion for diversity and inclusion and her desire to destigmatize the word “feminist” led her to create a project called Men Talk Feminism. She realized that change might happen more effectively if men talk with other men about the perils of patriarchy and the value of dismantling a system that hurts everyone. Men can go to the website, www.mentalkfeminism.com and answer three questions about their experience of and understanding of the importance of being a feminist.

Maria also talks about how #Metoo happened at the perfect moment in her own healing journey and about how she’s motivated to tackle patriarchy for her own personal benefit and that of the generations that follow. Stay tuned for a joyful, lively conversation about the value of creating space for everyone to flourish together.

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Music Credits: A Hawaiian in Paris feat.-Pierre-Grill

SHOW NOTES:
Do a Science:

Go to www.mentalkfeminism.com
Read at least three entries
For men -
- Write your own entry
- When you receive notice that it’s approved and posted: Re-post and Re-tweet
- Use the hashtags #mentalkfeminism, #beyondmenandmasculinity, #heretogetherpodcast
- Extra credit, ask two of your buddies to read some of the entries because you’re curious what they think. Start a discussion.
For women -
- Ask your closest male friend or partner to read a few entries, too.
- Ask him what he thinks

Click the image below for information about how to participate in 100 Challenge and win prize

Episode References:

Other Relevant Episodes:

Episode 75 How to Break Out of the Man Box
Episode 80 The Personal Impact of Men’s Work
Remaking Manhood Podcast

Dive Deeper on the Topic:

A list of 27 Famous FeMANists
Is Dolly Parton a Feminist?
- https://www.lofficielusa.com/pop-culture/is-dolly-parton-a-feminist
- Dolly Parton's America Podcast

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How to Take it to the Next Level

6/6/2021

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Music & Community Enrichment with Candace Devine & Drew Hall

If you could time-travel, what band would you go back and befriend right before they made it BIG??

Well, we have yet to crack time-travel, but the good news is we all get to be up-close friendly-fans of our guests today and after the rest of the world hears their new single, we’ll be able to say we knew them when.

Guest Bio:
If you’ve been a HERE.together listener for a while, you already know Candace Devine and Drew Hall, local music powerhouses and all-around good eggs. They have ridiculous musical credentials individually, and together they, along with Johan Glidden, have formed a Supergroup called Ponderosa Grove, that is not only blending amazing local talent into a band that is destined for greatness, but they are building an equally powerful arts culture here in Prescott that embraces excellence, collaboration, and community.

For those of you who don’t already know, Candace has been a professional singer and songwriter since her early 20s, performing with or opening for acts like Christina Aguilera, Ringo Starr, Styx, the Four Tops and many others. She is a prolific songwriter and collaborator and received a Grammy nomination for her work with jazz saxophonist, Mindi Abair. Candace also hosts the Creative Convergence Podcast that features conversations with world-class artists, musicians, and other creatives.

Drew Hall is a former banker who defied the 9-5 life at his earliest opportunity, going on to be in every kind of band, teach guitar to young and old musicians alike, and to curate exceptional music shows here in Prescott. In pre-Covid times, Drew could be spotted playing with the Cheektones, Summa Totius, THiS Trio with Slim Gamble of Lady Antebellum fame, et cetera!

Stay tuned for a laughter-filled AND deeply insightful conversation about the creative process, the art of leadership, and the positive role of music in bridging differences. You’ll be treated to not one, but 2 songs from their forthcoming album and Charles treats us to a terrible metaphor about how collaboration is like spiders and centipedes.

Rate, Review, Connect
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Music Credits:
Drew & Candace songs

Under the episode intro - Don’t Worry Child (Roslyn)
"Waterline"
"You Got Me"
Under the episode mid-rolls and the outro - While My Guitar Gently Weeps George Harrison Cover by Candace Devine, Dylan Ludwig and Drew Hall

SHOW NOTES:
Key Takeaways:

Dare to be stupid, dare to be wrong, all ideas matter
Collaboration builds community

Do a Science:

Play an instrument, sing, or dance in front of at least one other person.
Post a video or audio in the Community Lab on Facebook or on Instagram with the #heretogetherpodcast tag.

Donate to a local youth arts organization An example: Prescott Schools Foundation

When you deliver ideas into a communal pot, energy grows, relationships grow, community grows…

pisode References:

Ponderosa Grove
- Web Page
- ”Waterline” Official Video (which we’re IN!)
- Event Live stream
  - Ponderosa Grove Event Page
More Candace’s Devine
- Candace’s YouTube Channel
- Creative Convergence Podcast
More Ponderosa Grove Members and Contributors

Other Episodes with Drew and Candace:

Episode 53, Our first anniversary party!!
Episode 29 Don’t Worry Child

HERE.Together “Wish we knew them before they were big” band list.

The Decembrists
OK Go
Tim Minchin

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How to Be an Awesome Dad

How to Shatter Glass

How to Talk Feminism with Men

Click the image below for information about how to participate in 100 Challenge and win prize

How to Take it to the Next Level

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